- During your day to day conversation with your friends and family members, do you find yourself talking about work or life in general in a negative manner?
- Do you tell others that something or someone is preventing you from moving ahead and fulfilling your dreams?
- Do you tend to hang out with people who share your (negative) opinion about work and life?
- Can you keep a conversation with anyone without eventually dragging your audience into the “painful state” that your life is?
If you’ve managed to go through these questions and answered “no” to all of them, then congratulations for being such an optimistic person (or maybe all of your friends have left you?)! Now, if you’ve answered “yes” to any or several of these questions, then my friend… you’re a whiner!
It is not an easy thing to arrive at this conclusion by yourself, and often most whiners go all of their lives bitching and moaning without even noticing it, distilling their hate for everything and everyone who does not conform with their life style and point of view.
There is a cure, however, and I’m more than willing to share a couple of little changes you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you shed your pessimistic past behind and become a more pleasant and happy person!
First of all, take a deep breath and smile! Really! Depending on what level of stress and/or unhappiness your life is, you’d be surprised how hard it is to take a deep breath and smile! This act along, if done with the best of intentions, may give you a glimpse at just how you face your life. Some people are so ready for confrontation that they spend their entire day in “attack mode”, ready to strangle the first person who “dares to look at them the wrong way.” This is one of those situations when your body language shows your true inner state of mind.
This leads to my next advice: don’t automatically assume the worst from everyone! There is a huge difference between walking into a room where you’re already expecting the worst from others AND walking into this same room and not making assumptions about other people’s intentions toward you. If you remember to smile and don’t make negative assumptions, chances are that you’ll be more receptive to what other people have to say and you will also reply in a more receptive manner.
It is also very important to avoid other whiners! Once you become a more positive person and start practicing my first 2 advices, it will be easier to spot your whining friends. :) Now, you don’t have to completely stop talking to them or end your relationship all together. Simply try to avoid falling into the trap of being pessimistic or hearing other people complain about their lives. Remember, your way of dealing with the choices you made in the past wasn’t really helping you before and you’ll just have to move to a different strategy. As soon as this someone starts whining, quickly try to change the subject into something more pleasant for you, and hopefully for that someone as well. It’s like that old saying my mom used to tell me: “Tell me whom you walk with and Iâ€™ll tell you who you are.” Surround yourself with people that have a positive attitude toward life, and toward you! When you keep hanging out with people who are always in a bad mood, eventually you will also be in a foul mood.
Finally, be proactive! When someone asks you to do something for them, don’t content yourself with doing “only what they asked you to do”! Always give your 100% in whatever you do and don’t do it expecting something in return. Your wife asked you to take care of the dishes? Do that and maybe cook dinner too while you’re at it! You’ll feel good about yourself and she’s sure to appreciate your effort. You’ve been giving a new task and you feel that you don’t feel excited about it or don’t want to learn a new skill? Come to work one hour earlier and leave one hour later than usual for a couple of days, and invest the extra couple of hours to better prepare yourself. Get that task done and walk the extra mile by documenting it along the way.
Basically, keep a positive, carefree, cup-is-half-full type of attitude toward everything and everyone. You will notice that your days will become more pleasant, you’ll feel fulfilled and people will appreciate your new, positive attitude.