The Quiet Side of Management

April 22nd, 2016.

This was the first time in my career, as a manager of software engineers, that I had to let someone go. Not that I hadn’t dealt with performance issues before—there had been engineers and associates who struggled, and a few who ultimately decided to leave rather than continue on a performance improvement plan—but this was the first time I actually had to make the call to terminate someone’s employment.

I remember that day vividly. I was sitting at the airport in Tel Aviv, waiting for a flight back home, when I had the conversation. The feeling of sadness and responsibility hit me hard—the awareness of how much impact that decision would have on another person’s life. One day, you’re employed, confident about your income, your career, and your direction. The next, you’re suddenly facing uncertainty, wondering how you’ll make your next payment. That thought scares the hell out of me, and it’s something I never take lightly.

As a manager, I’ve learned to distinguish whether performance issues stem from skill gaps or will gaps. If it’s about missing skills—and the person genuinely wants to grow—then there’s a clear path forward: mentorship, courses, measurable goals, and support. But if it’s about willingness, it often becomes a question of motivation—whether the person still feels inspired by their current role or team. In those cases, helping them find a different opportunity, even within the same organization, can sometimes be the right move for everyone involved.

The hardest cases are those where the person truly tries—gives everything they can—but still can’t meet expectations. In 2016, that was exactly the situation. The associate had been struggling personally, and I could see their performance gradually deteriorate. We talked often. I offered guidance, mentorship, and time. But in the end, despite all our efforts, it became clear that things weren’t going to improve. We both understood that it was time to part ways.

Today is November 10th, 2025.

And today, I had to do it again.

Over the last six months, I’ve worked closely with another individual—coaching, setting clear goals, identifying gaps, and trying everything possible to help them succeed. They put in effort; they really did. But despite all that, the results weren’t there.

This morning, I felt the same heavy weight I did back in 2016—the awareness that someone out there is suddenly facing uncertainty because we couldn’t find a path forward that worked for both of us. I feel for this person. I also feel for my team, who have quietly carried the extra burden that comes with uneven performance.

Still, I know this was the right decision—for them and for us. Somewhere along the way, whatever once drove this person, whatever used to excite them about their work, had changed. I don’t think they were happy anymore. Sometimes life gives us a gentle nudge to leave our comfort zone; other times, it gives us a shove.

This was one of those shoves.

Letting someone go is never easy. It shouldn’t be. It’s one of the hardest parts of leadership—the kind that weighs on your conscience long after the meeting ends. All I can do now is wish this person well and hope that they find what reignites their passion—a new path, a new goal, a new reason to get up and feel excited again.